Posted in Every Day Blessings

For the record, I definitely will not be done with the cleaning even before Sunday but that is okay.  The insurance company took up most of my time today so not much in the way of cleaning.  PS the estimate came back on my car and it is way over $3000 because I have frame damage.  Not sure what will happen next but dh thinks the insurance company will total the car.  It isn't making right hand turns very well either and the insurance company has informed me that this will count against my record so our rates will probably go up.  I'm just so heartbroken.

So trying to celebrate our Passover meal (which was supposed to happen yesterday btw) just isn’t in the plan at the moment.  I don't think we have ever celebrated Passover anywhere near when it was supposed to be celebrated (because of dh’s work schedule) so I'm not really concerned.  I feel like G-d understands and He certainly knows my heart.  He truly has always honored our attempts whenever they have been.  If we celebrate this year I don't know when it will be but that is a big IF.  To tell you the truth, the "leavening" in our house matches the layers of dust I am cleaning out and frankly He is doing a work on my heart in particular so I wouldn't feel comfortable just stopping the process to celebrate when the removing is such an important part of the preparation.  Maybe once the rooms are clean we will celebrate but truthfully that might be a long time from now especially since the cleanest room in the house took 3 days.  I'm on day 3 of my bedroom and I've hardly made a dent and seeing how badly it needs it I can't hardly stop because G-d is showing me things, so as much as I don't want to do the cleaning and I really don’t enjoy G-d pointing out my leavening, I am also treasuring my time with Him and I feel like this is a spiritual cleaning as well as a physical cleaning.

Now I know I could make do and make the house presentable (however, I also haven't planned, shopped, cooked or have the money for Passover), but I will KNOW what is hidden (and so will G-d) and I can't possibly celebrate with a clear conscious so maybe this year this is what G-d wanted me to learn about Passover and if we don't celebrate then deyenu.

And that's not to say we aren't celebrating -- Good Friday services were awesome today (you can watch it here); He laid so many things on my heart.  We will go to sunrise service on Sunday and avoid eating the ham at my MIL’s  so it is still all good.

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