Posted in Every Day Blessings
I woke up with an anxiety attack in the middle of the night for what reason I have no idea. Man those are scary. Took me a long time to calm down and then to go back to sleep but definitely didn't get enough sleep and I woke up grouchier than I went to bed and I went to bed pretty grumpy. Long story but my grandparents came over on Sunday and as is typical with my family they push their thoughts and ideas and think they have the right to boss me around. I try to take it all with a grain of salt, be pleasant, respectful and nice but after they left I was so worn out. I was getting it from dh too; he said 'yes' to something I had already told the boys 'no' too and then he proceeded to fight me tooth and nail before knowing the entire story (he is also super tired) so I just grumped. To make matters worse I feel like I am the only one interested in this cleaning spree and all I ask is that everyone appreciates what I am doing (not asking for help though it would be nice) and try to not mess up the already clean areas. Well, that isn't happening and I feel like the maid - not the mother, wife or even treasured love one,
just the cleaning maid!
That's okay because this cleaning thing was my idea but it just hurts that they don't appreciate it nor do they want to support or encourage me or at the least keep the areas that are clean -- CLEAN!
Goals: I washed the bathroom walls (so gross). Dh hung hooks and re-hung the picture in the bathroom (that I have been waiting for him to do for the last 5 years - so no awards for him but I still love his tired self). I'm now scrubbing the soap scum off the tiles and decided to drink a glass of water and take a break because my arms are sore. Once that is done I will need to polish the tiles, mop the floor and decide if I need to wash the plastic shower curtain. I've never had good luck doing that; it always rips so I might just spray it with bleach water and be done. Started 2 loads of laundry (bathroom rug in one), and the boys are folding and trying to pick up the house but it is really hard to clean around everything. Next area to tackle will be the boy’s shelves and toys so that might be tough for all of us. More so for me - it feels like their childhood is just slipping away (and of late, I'm not enjoying their childhood). We shall have to see how it goes.
We got word today that the soccer fees will increase by 40% and that makes soccer out of our price range for middle son (the team my dh probably won't be coaching now). But it isn't the amount that is bugging me. I think it is the fact that my kids are being ??? selfish, lazy, not willing to try hard, not seeing the talent they have and applying themselves, not being grateful for what they do and what we give up so they can do and not seeming to care that some of these things just come once in a lifetime and then poof they are gone. And I don't think that it is they are spoiled (which is what my grandmother said on Sunday and that made me grumpy too
This week we go back to piano lessons and the boys don't seem to be at all excited about it (again, see previous paragraph). The other *biggie* for us is to finish making the soccer trophies for the team and get the end of the year party planned and done with. Dh wants to have it on 7 May. I feel like digging my heels in and not helping so pray I get sleep or my attitude changes. I will go back to my shower walls and maybe if I take out my frustration on them, they will be shiny clean by the end of the day. LOL
