We spent last week in deafening silence brought on by our announcement of our newest blessing on the way.  It was painful, bitter, and very damaging.  I wrote about it at least four times yesterday and just couldn't post it.   It was one of the hardest weeks of my married life actually. I cried myself to sleep every night we were gone and just prayed & hoped that the next day would bring even one word of acknowledgement regarding our baby.  It didn't and we left feeling very disconnected from our family that we love so much.  I pray that hearts will be changed before it is too late.  It is very difficult to accept that people we love would rather this baby just go away than to have to accept it.  Very, very sad.  There is oh-so-much more to the story, but my heart is still dealing with the hurt, so it isn't a good time to blog about it.  The only other thing I will say is that people need to give themselves a faith check up on occasion.  It is very easy to say that you live by faith if you don't have anything OUTSIDE of your control you are dealing with.  Your faith feet, crippled as they may be, are truly revealed when you are asked to walk a path that wasn't of YOUR choosing.

Today, however, should be a brighter day.  We have our first prenatal visit with our new OB Group.  They will be doing the first ultrasound and I couldn't be happier about it. I feel like everything is going according to "plan", because I have felt the tell-tale nausea and fatigue.  I have some concerns about the group we have selected, but only because I am coming from a wonderful, hands-on, "no one touches my patients but me" midwife.  This group seems a lot like a big baby factory, but with my prenatal/delivery issues I think that it will be a blessing in the end.

Hopefully, this time tomorrow I will have a sweet picture of our baby.  Stay tuned...