Apr. 25, 2008 - For we wrestle not against flesh and blood...
I was at Target Meijer somewhere last night (hey, it was late), and I remembered that Elijah asked if he could plant some flowers by the mailbox. I headed straight for the plants potted in plastic, and on my way over, a little naggy voice started whispering, "if you were really a good mom, you would buy seeds for him to plant...all the other homeschool moms let their kids plant from SEEDS. Real seeds."
I felt twinges of panic encompassing every inch of my being..."you're a bad mom...you don't come close to the other homeschooling moms...you don't even buy real seeds..."
Ms. Mom Guilt had zapped in to rob my joy (once again). She's a liar. She's a thief.
I had a lot on my list in my head last night. My sister will be in from Seattle on Monday and her birthday was yesterday (so a party will be in order), Simon's birthday is Monday, my cousin's wedding is Saturday (and my birthday is Saturday, too!). So, I was pleasantly surprised when I actually remembered to pick up a tea-time treat. I found some Almond Biscotti dipped in chocolate and thought that would be fun.
Then, she had the nerve to show up again! "If you really had what it took, you'd make your own biscotti. Tea-time treats should be homemade (as all good homeschooling moms know)."
I was tired. Really tired. Too tired to think about homemade biscotti. Maybe that played to my advantage at midnight last night.
I looked Ms. Mom Guilt straight in the eyes, and said, "I am doing the best I can. I will NOT let you or me or anyone else make me feel guilty for what I've decided (by the grace of God) to do with MY children."
At this point you probably either
~think I'm nuts~ OR ~know exactly what I'm talking about~
As moms we are in seemingly no-win situations sometimes.
Do I do the dishes (and have a clean house...because after all, ALL stay at home moms should have clean houses...what else do you do with your day?) ?
OR
Do I take the kids outside to enjoy this beautiful day (because, after all, no child should be left inside)?
It really doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter. Just in case you didn't get that, let me just say (one more time), IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER.
What does matter is that your children see you pursuing God.
What does matter is that your children see you loving your husband.
What does matter is that you have a dynamic relationship with your children-- you know them and they know you.
The rest is just jellybeans.
The next time Ms. Mom Guilt comes sneaking around, trying to grab your joy (or all that's left of your sanity)...tell her that God gave you these children and you will not compare yourself to other moms, you will not be manipulated into doing something you don't need to be doing, and that YOU (by the grace of God) are quite capable of doing what's right for these little ones that you love with all your heart.
Goodbye Ms. Mom Guilt,
Comments
Apr. 25, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by CandaceC
Amen, sister! Preach it! :) Now, if only I could have that will power to say goodbye to the guilt EVERYday. :)
Apr. 25, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by dustbunniesandbooks
AMEN!!!!!!
Apr. 25, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by SunnyFlowers
Well said, Ami! Do you know there are soooo many people that use you as the measuring stick as the perfect, creative, fun homeschooling mom. :-)
Apr. 26, 2008 - Thanks!
Posted by djbartch
Thanks for the reminders that we don't have to do it all and be it all to be good moms and teachers. I really appreciated that!
Apr. 26, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by sprite
Good reminder, Ami. I think that's another danger of blogging. We read the posts of others and think, "My HS days are so boring." We are all different and have different circumstances. We must seek His will for our day and for our children. And then do THAT with all our heart.
Apr. 26, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
What an awesome post Ami! You are speaking the truth Girl...keep it up!
Blessings,
Amy (Amy in Ohio FIAR)
Apr. 26, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
That was wonderful, Ami. So good. Amen and Amen! I want to link it from my blog.
Edwena
Apr. 26, 2008 - Well said, girl!
Posted by Rachel
Thank you for sharing this! I so fight the Mom Guilt! I am writing a series of articles for HOTM on experiencing joy and one of the biggest things that I think competes with us experiencing that joy is the guilt and comparison. Could I maybe link to this post in a future article and quote you??
What a blessing this post was, thank you for sharing your heart!
Love in Christ
Rachel
http://keeptheway-christianacademy.blogspot.com/
Apr. 26, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by LeslieN
Amen! Always a great reminder not to compare ourselves with others - and to focus on the One whose opinion matters most!
Hugs
Leslie
Apr. 26, 2008 - Amen
Posted by bitsandpieces
Great post Ami, thanks for writing it. And I agree with Jimmi, I think blogging homeschool moms beat themselves up sometimes as we read other blogs. I also laugh at my own blog sometimes as it probably seems like I am so fun and my kids are so great, I just don't blog about the not so great stuff much on my homsechooling blog. I save that for my private blog. But I was laughing with my huband last week at what other readers must think I am like form my blog and how disappointed they would be if they met me in real life! Or how encouraged they would be to find out how messed up I am! :)
Keep it *real*, and remember we're all *real*, whether we seem that way or not :)
Carisa
May. 2, 2008 - Mother's Day GiveAway!
Posted by SchoolinRhome
I love this post so-o much! I might try to link to it and tell all my friends to read it. I love it- esp. when you say all the rest is jellybeans! What is truly imortant! Wouldn't it be nice for our frustration and for some stress relief if we could actually give Mrs. guilt a punch!
I wanted to let you know that I am hosting my first giveaway over at my blog! It is to celebrate Mother's Day! Stop by and tell me why you are happy to be a mother and you could win an awesome devotional book, a journal and a cooking with kids CD-Rom.
Enjoy your weekend with your family!
SchoolinRhome
Here is the giveaway link:
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SchoolinRhome/525838/
May. 5, 2008 - Just what I needed
Posted by Anonymous
I am so glad that other moms feel the same way I do many days. Thanks for writing this one!
Debbie
May. 7, 2008 - Amen!
Posted by Shutterbug
Preach it sister! My goodness I hate it when that Ms. Mom Guilt comes around in her "Know it all" voice, glaring at me from her lofty high horse. Next time she comes riding up to me, I'll tell her to just keep on going. :) Your encouragement in this was greatly needed and appreciated today! Thank you! :)
May the Lord continue to bless you and your family as you serve Him.
Love,
Marie :)
May. 11, 2008 - hello,
Posted by BreezyTulip
Missed you today. :(
But I thought I'd stop by and say,
"HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!"
You're a great mom, even when you buy biscotti, and you're not my mom. Love you, sweetie. :)
Blessings,
-Breezy
May. 16, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Psycho
I'm just another clueless teenage girl who knows NOTHING about being a mom, but i do know a lot about being a clueless kid. Your kids see how much you sacrifice for them, and if they don't now, they will later. And, they prolly won't notice dirty dishes unless they like to cook and it's dinner time. Bye bye Ms. Mom Guilt! besides, playing outside in the sun shine is healthy physically and emotinally. :D
Jun. 9, 2008 - So true
Posted by lexi
I hate mom guilt. I had a battle with it today actually. Great post!!! It's always nice to know that others deal with the same things. But keep up the great work! You have great ideas on your blog. I love the lapbooks!! My daughter and I made a lapbook for the first time a few weeks ago.
Jun. 18, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
Echoing SunnyFlowers...do you know how many people look to you for fun and wonderful ideas? You are doing a wonderful job encouraging others...in their homeschools and to say goodbye to our own mommy guilt. :o)
Jun. 18, 2008 - Ooops...
Posted by Anonymous
forgot to sign the above comment.
molly in cr
