This is the title of the devotional I got in my email this am. Honestly... Im TERRIFIED of snakes. i promise you, no one on earth is more afraid of snakes than me!! I actually almost didnt read it just because of the title!! (I should I say, i dont know how to give proper rights, but the devotional Im talking about is a daily email I get from Alpha Omega Publications. )
The write of t his devotional talked about how she lives in the west and there are snakes everywhere and you have to watch out for them. Also, you have to learn the difference between the posionous and "safe" ones. (their all posionous to me because if i see one, its a heart attack and death!!) One day, her son actually found one in their sandbox!! The point of the lesson is to not let fear take hold of you.
I have definitly let fear take hold of my life!! So much, that I dont even know how to talk to anyone anymore. Were not hermits by any means, we go places, but for the majority of our lives, we just stay at home and do nothing. Now, its not all due to fear. Please dont get me wrong, were not sitting in our house cowaring and hunkered down in the living room or anything. But our lives have become very lonely. my husband goes to work, we do school, then we meet back at home and everyone goes into their own corners of the house. its sad, really. But even t hat isnt the point im trying to make, so ill move on...
When I was younger, I was painfully shy. When I got a little older, I moved to a different town. In that new town, I told myself that I was starting a new life. I was going to pull myself out of that shell and start living and forget being shy. I did that. I made a lot of mistakes. I went a little too far that way, but I pulled myself out. Now, all these years later, I seem to have crawled back into that shell. I stay at home. I dont get to talk to a lot of people, my neighbors refuse to speak to me. I dress as comfortable as i can (jeans and a t shirt) and i just live here in my little shell that Ive made for myself and my family. But we're missing out on life!!! I still live in that town that I moved to years ago. I moved away but then came back. Its time for me to once again pull myself out of thise shell. Start living life!!!!
So for today, I dressed nice! I put the sweater on that I was planning on wearing to church on Sunday. I also decided to not wear the tennis s hoes, but wear my boots. Dressing it up a but. I even put make up and a necklace on. (my mom will be so proud lol)not because Im going anywhere, actually, Im staying home today taking care of sick kids. Then, tonight, Im going to the grocery store with my mom. But even dressing nice, helps me to feel a little better about myself.
This is going to be hard. I have to teach myself all over again how to be social. sad... very sad!!! But im sick of me and my kids sitting around fighting about the computer and the tv all the time and missing out on life. The kids are sick, so we cant go anywhere today. (doesnt it figure lol) But next week, when their better (i hope!! were finishing up week 2 of this!!) were no longer home bodies. were going out places. Were going to start talking to people! were going to find some friendships and start living life!!!
I WILL pull myself out of this shell!
I WILL remember who I am in Christ and quit worrying about the stupid things!
I WILL start living life and go out and meet people!
I WILL start talking to people and develop relationships for me and my kids!
I WILL be a better peron!
I will need prayer, also. If this was hard before, its wayyyyy harder now. Not only do i have to pull myself out of this, but also my 6 children. Im tired of this way of life. Were supposed to be witnesses to the world. Why would anyone who knows me right now want my life? ive not shown Jesus to anyone. What a shame. All these years... WASTED!! Time to stop! Computers ok. Tvs ok. Being at home and having some down time is ok. But its not life. Now, if I can just make my family see that...
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