Narcissists. I studied them quite a bit in an effort to avoid them "taking me to the cleaners".  But every now and then, one slips their foot in the door.

     A couple of vacuum salesmen showed up on our doorstep, just wanting to let our community know of their presence.  "Sign up for a drawing of free groceries!"

     Mistake Number 1: Accepting a gift.  Now they will make me feel as though I owe them one...you know. Let them come in and do a demo so they can get some points.

     Mistake Number 2: Saying "That would be alright."

     If you are familiar with the narcissist personality, you can imagine what stunts, manipulations, and forceful pressures they tried to pull on us.  I will not elaborate on all the details. But one gimmick I found very deceptive.

     They blew the vacuumed dust through a filter to show us the evidence of the dust and dirt in our home. "The filter from the carpet," we were told, "is all the dust in the carpet."

     "Those large clumps," I counter, "are carpet fibers. This carpet is a little over a year old."

     "Oh, no! That's the dirt," he insists.  I cannot argue, because some sand and dirt did exist on the filters.  What floor doesn't collect such things?

     Moving into the bedroom, he proceeds to collect more evidence. The black filters collect a fine white powdery substance. "This is dead skin cells and dust mites that feed off of them." Who in our household can sleep comfortably after hearing that analysis, unless we purchase this very expense Cadillac of a vacuum cleaner.

     One of our boys takes hold of the sample and fingers the powder.  The salesman quickly states “You better go to the bathroom and wash your hands right now, and don't touch your eyes. A girl touched that stuff once and got it in her eye and nearly went blind."  Intimidating my son with fear-mongering. Right in my own home.  But what can I say? I did not have proof of one-way or the other.  He carelessly tosses subsequent filters on the dresser, spilling the harmful dust onto the doily.  Why wasn't he being more careful?  I don't like this man's tactics.  Trying to charm us adults is one thing, but to work on our boys with fear and charm and flattery preys on the weak.  I know the method: 'If I get the children to beg and plead for a new life-saving vacuum, Mom and Dad might relent and buy one outright.

     After we turn down all their offers, counter offers, and counter-counter offers, the salesmen leave behind a sour atmosphere in our home. Later that evening, I decide to break out our high powered microscope and verify. Are the sample evidences dust, dead skin cells, and creepy crawly vermin? I set up the apparatus.

     "Boys, do you want to see the mites and dust bunnies the vacuum cleaner guys found?"

     They hurry over and take a look.

 Carpet Bug Sample, microscopic view.

Mattress Bugs sample, microscopic view.

Picture of large fresh poly-fill fibers.

     "Those guys told us these were dust bunnies and mites that feed off our dead skin cells. But these bugs are the strangest I've seen. They don’t move and are made of nylon."  I let them discover this for themselves, to demonstrate to them that the salesmen exaggerated and misled them about the mites. Hopefully their pillow would feel fresh and comfortable that night.

     A good microscope makes a great tool.  I proved the “evidence” primarily contained carpet fibers and mattress poly-fill.  The mattress sample even contained blue and red fibers from the mattress’ surface.  Microscopically, that vacuum methodically dismantled our carpet, couch cushions, and mattress. Their costly narcistic machine only beats, tugs, and pulls apart the fibers of our fabrics, while the salesmen do the same to our family relationships.  I decided after this, no more vacuum salesmen in our home. 

      So much for Nylon Bugs.

-Norman Ward