• Aug. 19, 2006
David's funeral
Well, I made it through David's funeral. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. But I held it together as much as I could for my son and for a real good friend of David's that needed me to be strong. I am so very angry at one of David's brothers. David's mother was unable to make it to the funeral because she was in the hospital in ICU because when David had the accident and was killed, one of David's brothers called the hospital where Margaret, David's mother, was with Granny (her mother - who is dying) and told her over the phone. Another brother happened to be coming to see Granny and was walking thru the door and watched his mother fall to the floor. She had a heart attack and then apparently Thursday evening had a mild stroke. I can't believe that David's brother is such a heartless jerk. We all really knew that he was. Only Margaret couldn't see it because she is his mother. I just never dreamed that he was that cold. He is one of, if not the most self-serving people that I have ever had the misfortune of knowing. David himself did not like him. I won't get into the details, but I am not a violent person and I told him 3-4 years ago that if he ever showed up at my house again, I would kill him. I will put it this way, he should be strung up and left to die for what he has done in his past. Okay, now I sound like a horrible person so I guess I should tell you why I feel this way so you will understand. He is a convicted pedophile. He never touched my children, but he did threaten to and I tried with my all to get him thrown back in prison. He is not right in the head - how many pedophiles are? When his father died all he could think about was how he should have been given the house. Nevermind that he had already been given a house or that his mother was still living and she was in the house When David died, he called a friend of David's and mine who David had bought a truck from and told him that he wanted the truck and that he was sorry for the friend's loss of David as a friend of over 30 years. David hated the fact that this man was his brother and he had to be civil to him for their mother. Anyway.....
I am really proud of myself. I didn't think I was going to be able to do this. I almost backed out of going. I was so scared tha tI would fall to pieces. I did really well. Especially since I got absolutely no sleep Friday night. My mind just would not turn off and let go. This sounds so horrible or sick or whatever, but since David was burned so badly they sealed the casket before it left the medical examiner's office to be brought to East Texas for the funeral. I wanted to see him so bad. I have these horrible images in my mind and I wanted to see his body. I wanted to see if he still had any of his hair left. I wanted to see if.... I don't know what I really wanted to see, but I just needed it to be final and it still is not.
I have this shirt that I used to where when David and I were still married that says "My next husband will be normal." I love the color and have picked the shirt up so many times to wear since David's accident and just can't wear it. I would make it a point to wear it sometimes when he and I were going somewhere together to see mutual friends or something. It was a standing joke between us. He asked me, "Just what is normal?" I'd tell him, "I don't know, but it certainly isn't you." He'd say, "So I guess you think you are normal?" "No, David, I married you. A normal person wouldn't do that." I can't get rid of the shirt, but I can't wear it either. Maybe someday.
The funeral was recorded for Margaret and I am going to get a copy of the tape so it can be played at the memorial for David that we are going to have up here for those that could not make it to the funeral. David told me about 20 years ago that when he died he wanted people to have a party to celebrate his life. Tell stories about him and celebrate David's life and don't mourn his death. Of course that is easier said than done. I am going to try to do that for David. So please, if any of you have any ideas, please let me know. I am open to all ideas.
David in 1994 David a few months ago
Somehow he wound up with most of our pictures, but I think they are in his storage and I will get them as soon as I can.
Thanks again for letting me unload. Whether anyone reads this or not, it helps to unload. Now, I have got to take my very tired body to bed. Good-night all. Sweet dreams.
Comments
• Aug. 20, 2006
Hugs from me
Posted by servingtheKingofkings
I will keep you, your son, and your ex-husband's family in my prayers. May the Lord give you strength and wisdom to help your son grieve. May He comfort you two and guide you both in your homeschooling journey. Rest in His grace & mercy and take time to grieve and let go.
Regarding ideas for celebrating David's life, 1) you may want to show pictures, slides or home videos showing him in various memorable snapshots of his life starting from his childhood; 2) you (and others) may make a donation to his favorite charity in his name; 3) you may serve his favorite foods and play his favorite music at the memorial.
• May. 3, 2007
Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
Sorry for your loss.Have a great memorial, celebrate his life.Here is how my family pulled off a great memorial... Have everyone tell a story ,three minutes each.When my sister died we had a memorial, not a funeral. My brother told a packed house how my sister smoked pot....1500 people laughed. Trust me do this man right give him a great sending off with champagne.
