• May. 30, 2008
Help! What can I do?
I am in a situation that, unfortunately, is much my own fault. I have an Yahoo group (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FreeHomeschoolTools_NO-CHAT/) where members request and offer homeschooling materials for postage only. It is really a great group with a bunch of wonderful members. This week someone posted about the Subway homeschooler exclusion in their contest and how "we" should Boycott Subway. Well, I could never boycott Subway, I love their sandwiches, but that's beside the point. I have a moderator and she became EXTREMELY rude. To her credit, she did ask politely for the discussion to stop as it is a no chat group and the conversation needed to be moved to the sister site - a chat group. When the discussion continued, she actually told members to "Shut up" and told them if they did not like that this was a no chat group "to leave." She also put my name in the post. I knew nothing about this post. When reading the posts regarding the situation, I missed her post. When I saw another mentioning the "Shut up" comment, I asked her "Who said to shut up?" She told me know one did and the members were blowing everything out of proportion. Well, another member sent me the post and I was FLOORED! I could not believe that she had said all she had. Granted, I have had to ask her to tone down her posts in the past, but she has never been this blatantly rude and offensive. By the time I was made aware of the post, I had already removed her as a moderator, which she did not like.
Now, because of all the chat, I did change the name to add the "No Chat" part. Some members took offense to that and were upset. They enjoyed the chat. However, the home page of the group plainly states that it is not a chat group and to go to the sister site for chat (or another group). One of the members took it upon themselves to open a group with the original name. While I am not upset that she opened the group. I am a little miffed that she is using the same name. I asked her to please use her own name, but she has not changed it.
That however is not what this is about. This is about how I restore the group's members faith in me as the owner. I have made a public apology to all the members for the rudeness and let them know that I am the only moderator from this point forward. Do I need a moderator? Yes, I do. I not only have my two kids (my daughter could really count for two on her own because she is so strong-willed and "spirited"), I also babysit a 3 year old little boy that has had a hard time in his young life and is "special needs" on an emotional and behavioral level. In addition to that, I run my own AVON business (www.youravon.com/mhalbrooks) and have my own team that I work with for their own successes as well. I also have church obligations. So yes, I do need a moderator. However, after this experience, I don't think I will ever be able to trust someone to not be rude or ugly. This moderator tried to get me to shut down this group repeatedly. She threatened it herself and she could not have done it anyway. My vision for the group is for homeschooling families to be able to get many of their homeschooling needs for free (postage only) and therefore, make it more economical to homeschool our children.
At this point, I just don't know what to do. Do I just let it all go and hope it all works out or what? I admit my feelings are hurt by the whole situation. My feelings are also hurt by a member taking the group name for starting her own group. Why couldn't she choose her own name? That does bother me. I did learn a lesson though. I will not trust anyone to look out for my (or the groups) interest as I do.
Okay really this was just a sounding board. Feel free to comment and leave me suggestions. I just really needed to get this off my chest. Blessings to all.
