Nov. 11, 2009 - Courtship in the 24/7 Era
My friend, Kim, has a saying on her Facebook, "A woman's heart should be so lost in God, that a man has to seek Him in order to find her." But this generation seems to be lost to Facebook and their cellphone making it way too easy not only to find her but everything about her too. The combination has made any rules of engagement (pun intended) obsolete.
David Brooks examines how cell phones have changed the dating game.
Once upon a time — in what we might think of as the “Happy Days” era — courtship was governed by a set of guardrails. Potential partners generally met within the context of larger social institutions: neighborhoods, schools, workplaces and families. There were certain accepted social scripts. The purpose of these scripts — dating, going steady, delaying sex — was to guide young people on the path from short-term desire to long-term commitment.As a parent, we've encouraged our young adults to establish appropriate guardrails which will help them navigate the temptations that are ever before their eyes. But it isn't easy for them or us. We understand the traps that lay before them that could derail their hopes and dreams, but frequently our young people only see another "friend" to add to their growing list.
Over the past few decades, these social scripts became obsolete. They didn’t fit the post-feminist era. So the search was on for more enlightened courtship rules. You would expect a dynamic society to come up with appropriate scripts. But technology has made this extremely difficult. Etiquette is all about obstacles and restraint. But technology, especially cellphone and texting technology, dissolves obstacles. Suitors now contact each other in an instantaneous, frictionless sphere separated from larger social institutions and commitments.
In the "Happy Day's era as Brooks identifies it, a young man thought longer before he reached for a phone and called a girl. More importantly, the ring of the phone and one-side of the conversation were heard throughout the household. Now, the instantaneous access to a new friend through cell phones makes it easy, very private, and speeds up the courtship process. Add in social networking sites like Facebook and young adults quickly learn what their new friend's favorite food, music, song, and a whole lot more before the first date. They become emotionally bonded and "in a relationship" before parents and others in their social sphere know they even exist.
Even parents like us, who have encouraged our children not to commit to a long-term relationship until they are ready for marriage are struggling how to navigate these waters. The only "script" seems to be written by the next generation as they go along, eliminating many safeguards that prevented heart break or at least softened the blow.
God said it was not good for man to be alone, so He created woman and said it was very good. We created technology that has become our constant companion and what is happening to our generation because of it isn't so good.
-Spunky
Cross-posted, with permission, from SpunkyHomeSchool
Nov. 11, 2009 - Homeschooling Through High School ~ Home Economics
Home Economics...a class I never took in high school because I was in band...was part and parcel for young ladies in high school once upon a time. Girls were taught how to cook meals, sew clothing, do laundry, etc. Nowadays, few girls in the public school system receive such training. If they do take what we might call "Home Ec" classes, they're more likely to be referred to by different names, such as "Applied Science: Foods," or "Consumer Education."
A quick glance at the course catalog of my own local public high school shows such courses as, "Interior Design," "Fashion Merchandising," "Culinary Arts and Nutrition," "Food Science," "Child Development," "Parenting," "Adult Living/Personal Relationships." ALL course descriptions provide the way that these courses will relate to a future college-major/course of study.
A few years ago, my niece and her then-boyfriend (now husband) joined our family for Thanksgiving dinner. I invited her to join me in the kitchen to help with some of the last minute tasks...I figured I would let her "show off" a little to this young man by showcasing her skill in the kitchen! I realize that this is a VERY old-fashioned way of thinking...and this side of the family does not know Christ, does not value home-education, nor the "training up" of children for any purpose other than attending college so as to get the best possible job and make money so they can have a "good life." Even so, I knew that men enjoy a good meal, and I was determined to set up a scenario where this potential husband-to-be would be impressed!
"Sweetie, come help your old aunt with dinner...can you make the mashed potatoes tonight?" "Sure, I guess. I've never made them before...what do I do?" "Well, the potatoes are all in that big bowl...they're all washed, so just peel them, quarter them, and put them in that big pot of boiling water to cook." "OK, how do I peel them?" "The vegetable peeler is right there, see?" "OK, I see it, but how do I peel them?" "How do you peel them? I'm sorry, do you prefer a paring knife to peel your potatoes?" "A what-knife?" "Sweetie, what do you like to use to peel a potato?" "I don't know...I've never peeled a potato. I don't know how."
I showed her how to use a vegetable peeler and a knife on a potato; she chose the vegetable peeler, and began to work, slowly. Her mother joined in to help speed things along, as did I, with my paring knife. Once the potatoes were boiled, the two continued the impromptu cooking lesson, mother teaching daughter the art of adding milk, butter, salt, and pepper to get the perfect consistency. Together, they hunted down and removed all the lumps left in the creamy masterpiece...a tragedy, in my opinion. My daddy always told us, "if there aren't any lumps in it you don't know they're real potatoes...the best made-from-scratch mashed potatoes ALWAYS have lumps, they're no good without the lumps!"
I pulled my niece aside and quietly told her, "you know, the lumps are OK...you don't always have to remove all the lumps!" She surprised me by immediately going back over to her mom, and saying, "I'll take out the lumps...I am her daughter!" "Good for you," I thought! "And good for you, Mom...you taught her how to peel a potato and make edible food from it!" Better late than never. This was a 21 year old who considered putting a box of icy stuff in the microwave to be "cooking."
The point of this isn't really to debate the best way to prepare mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving (that'll be next week's article). Nor is it to criticize anyone who puts a frozen box of pasta in the microwave and calls it "cooking dinner," for I have done it myself on more than one occasion!
What I desire to share is something most homeschool parents already realize, and that is the alarming inability, due to the simple lack of any training, of the average young adult in this country to manage a home in a healthy, financially responsible, and balanced manner. Our young men and women are largely being "trained" for college entrance and career. Within the homeschool community, I realize that there are widely varying opinions on the issue of career-women vs. home-keepers. Therefore, I will not be going there! Whichever side of that fence you fall on, I believe we can all agree that if our young people are blessed to enter into marriage and family, they will save themselves boatloads of emotional angst if both of them know how to: prepare food at home from scratch; buy just what they can afford and truly need rather than be attracted and drawn to excessive home decor that can only be purchased with credit and debt; sew simple articles of clothing rather than having to purchase everything at the store; repair fixable broken items rather than replacing them; give regularly to the work of the church and save some of their income on a regular basis rather than spending every penny that comes in on "wants" -- as opposed to needs.
This is the "art" and "science" of home economics. Parents of homeschooling high school students...I would beg you, do not ignore this most important area of "study," even if one or more of your students is a college-bound guy, as is one of mine. Curricula abound out there, if you desire this, or you can simply bring them alongside you when you cook dinner, make a sandwich, do the laundry, scrub down a bathtub, or clean a toilet.
Inge Cannon of Education Plus has a wonderful recommendation in her "Transcript Bootcamp" program...she says to give your teenage children a copy of their "Emancipation Proclamation." This is a list of life-skills which you create that are required of your young people before you will issue them their high school diploma...no matter how many course credits they've earned! Whether or not you create a home-economics course out of the accomplishment of this list is up to you. Either way, what a wonderful gift of learning and life we impart if we put this idea into practice!
A couple of weeks ago, I introduced one of my favorite books by Edith Schaeffer to you. This week I'd like to introduce another one: The Hidden Art of Homemaking. As with the other book, Mrs. Schaeffer's writing can be a bit dificult to "get into" at first because of stylistic choices she makes, but the content is so wonderful, it's worth the time and little bit of effort!
In closing, let's share a few verses from God's word which can focus our children's studies and practices in the area of home economics:
Proverbs 31:27 "She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness."
I Timothy 6:6-10 "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows."
I Timothy 6:17-19 "Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy; that they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate; laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life."
I Peter 3:7 "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."
I Thessalonians 4:11-12 "And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you; that ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing."
May God bless you and your homeschool this week!
Lori
Lori Havens has been married to Kevin for 24 years. They live in Illinois with their two sons, Bryan (17) and Nathan (16), and dog Sunny (9). Lori enjoys writing, gardening, reading, and the outdoors. She is the author of "Should I Be A Nurse? A Journey of Self-Exploration for Those Considering a Career in Nursing" and "7 Essential Questions Every Future Nurse Must Ask." You can find her blogging at both Homeschool Blogger and Homestead Blogger .
Nov. 10, 2009 - Reaching Homeschoolers
At a homeschool convention last year, another vendor and I struck up a conversation. He had a lot of energy but seemed a bit uptight; however, he readily admitted that he felt totally out of place because he didn't homeschool and this was definitely not his "typical convention." Not really interested in finding out what his "typical convention" was like, I smiled and assured him that we all knew he was out of place the minute he walked in the vendor hall, but we're a polite group and so we didn't point or stare as we talked about him to each other. He grinned and relaxed a bit.
"Obviously, you're a pretty direct person," He said. "So I was wondering, how does a guy who knows nothing about homeschooling sell his product to homeschoolers?"
Ignoring the fact that this out of place "greedy capitalist" was there just to make a profit, I chuckled and asked him, "Why do you think homeschoolers would even want to buy your product if you know absolutely nothing about us?"
He didn't seem to want to answer that, so I continued, "Get to know us a bit and you'll figure out it's not that hard to sell to us. We're pretty frugal but can be gullible in the right circumstance with a promising product, especially at a homeschool convention."
"Fair enough." He replied. "Then I'd like to show you my stuff and see what you think. But first there's one thing I've been wondering about homeschoolers for quite a while now."
"Oh, and what is that?"
"Why do you homeschoolers have so many kids?"
"Umm, gee, maybe it's because we have more exciting things to do than watch Jay Leno after the kiddos go to bed?!?" (Okay, I didn't really say that but I did think it.)
Instead, I politely tried to explain that for some of us homeschooling isn't just an educational choice but a life decision based on a belief that children are as a blessing from God. He wasn't getting it and I was getting hungry so the conversation quickly died of natural causes.
If I ever run into him again, however, I'm sending him over to Ethan Demme (of Math-U-See fame) who gives a much more thoughtful and complete answer to the question, How do I reach the homeschool community? His post is directed at politicians but he starts from the same premise that you have to know something about us, past and present, in order to reach us.
As a homeschool grad and marketing guru, Demme provides an excellent round-up of information and resources to understand this growing but changing movement of homeschool radicals who actually believe they can teach their children at home and live to blog about it. Check it out and keep in handy if you ever run into my vendor friend at your state homeschool convention.
(Note to Demme: Please add a paragraph on fecundity and homeschoolers, thanks in advance.)
-Spunky
Cross-posted, with permission, from SpunkyHomeSchool
Nov. 10, 2009 - Holiday Hunt Week1 - Enter to Win a 12 Days of Christmas Devotional!
Attention, Super Sleuth Homeschool Moms!
Join our Holiday Hunt!
We're holding several holiday scavenger hunts here on HSB. Once a week for the next three weeks, you'll have a chance to join in the fun each week! (One entry per family per week, please.)
All of the entry details and clues for the first week are below, so please read them carefully.
The Prize!
The prize is this wonderful Christmas devotional--The 12 Days of Christmas: A Guide to an Old Tradition with a New Purpose by
Linda Coates and Leslie S. Kelly
The 12 Days of Christmas helps families discover that Christmas Day is the kickoff for the celebration, not the final affair. The twelve-day adventure begins on December 26. In it, you will learn more about the tenets of the Christian faith through wonderful stories and meaningful activities, and create new traditions to last you and your family a lifetime. By uncovering hidden meanings in the old classic Christmas song, Linda and Leslie bring you a new and exciting way to finish one year and begin the next.
How to Join in the Holiday Hunt
Put on your detective hat and find the answers to the following clues. You can find every answer by going through the links on our free TOS 2009 Digital Holiday Supplement found here: http://thehomeschoolmagazine.com/Digital-Supplement/Thanksgiving&Christmas.html
Here's what to do:
- Read the clues carefully and find the answers by clicking on the advertisements in the TOS 2009 Holiday Digital Supplement, found here.
- Once you have an answer for all six questions, email them to Tan Hogate at thogate@thehomeschoolmagazine.com.
- You have until midnight EST Friday, November 13, 2009, to send Tan your answers.
- At that point, we will conduct a random drawing to determine a winner from this week’s submissions to receive The 12 Days of Christmas by Linda Coates and Leslie Kelly - a Christmas devotional.
Again . . .Each week one winner of our random drawing will win a copy of the beautiful Christmas devotional from Linda Coates and Leslie Kelly, entitled The 12 Days of Christmas: A Guide to an Old Tradition with a New Purpose.
Each day of this devotional has scripture, discussion questions, activities, a prayer, a devotional story, and points to ponder. Your family will delve into the true meaning of Christmas, starting with Day 1-December 26. This is truly a beautiful and meaningful way to celebrate the birth of Christ.
"Whose birthday is it anyway? Have you ever wanted more from the Christmas Season? The Twelve Days of Christmas is more than just another Christmas book. It is a way to recapture what has been lost in the hustle and bustle of Christmas so that this year it can be different. This inspiring book will help you discover that Christmas Day is the jumping point for the real celebration, not the final affair . . . The Twelve Days of Christmas is a beautiful way to finish one year and begin the next and to celebrate Christ's birth by giving our gifts to the One who has given us the greatest gift of all." Tate Publishing, http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-60696-260-2
This Week's Clues!
Okay, ready for your clues? Here you go!
Remember, click through the advertisers in the TOS 2009 Holiday Digital Supplement to find the answers.
1. This company is known for their quality films. Find two that films or one film collection on their site that your family would enjoy. List their url/Web address.
2. This company was voted #1 by Homeschool.com in 1994. Provide their url/Web Address
3. See if you can find who sells the book The Big Book of American Trivia, Over 3,000 Questions and Answers. Please send us their url/Web address.
4. Go here for some amazing photos of birds, bears, and other critters. Send us the url/Web address.
5. Find a wide selection of construction or farm machine on this site. Tell us which one is your favorite and send us the link to one of your favorite machines. (Must include the link.)
6. Find Sketchy Adventures, it’s free! Send us the url/Web address.
7. The author of this website has traveled to 46 states and several Canadian provinces to encourage home educators over the past twenty years and look forward to lots of fruitful ministry in the future. Please send us their url/Web address.
Okay Fans, you can do this! Be sure to email your answers to me at thogate@thehomeschoolmagazine.com to be entered into this contest.
Here is the link to our general contest rules: http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thehomeschoolmagazine.com%2FResources%2FContests.php&h=7b30dad7e6f56369b9abadcd65e0a9f4
Enjoy!
~Tandy Sue Hogate
Nov. 10, 2009 - Home Ec ~ Chaos Tamers in Training
Domestic Chaos Tamer and Homeschool Mom of Five, Dell writes about home, heart and hearth.
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