I remember as a very young girl, walking along talking and singing to God as though He were right there next to me.  I never mistook Him for my "imaginary friend"; although I have presumed upon His kindness too often, being in a living, breathing relationship with Him never took away from His being God to me.  My parents didn't tell me this was how to be with God, how to be a Christian.  I didn't relate to God this way because church told me this was part of the steps to being a Christian.  I was too young to remember now why I began this way; suffice to say, I began this way and so continue to this day presuming that when I talk to God, He talks back. 

     Now, I find myself in the odd position of being religiously naive.  The evangelical circles I currently find myself moving in call this "charismatic", and get a little nervous about the wisdom of following the "little voices in my head".  Andree Seu wrote in her recent column (God in the shower) in World mag , "Still, I evidently needed to learn something about the immediacy of God's voice, for God brought me into the company of believers called "charismatics" who listen for God's voice like you listen for the cellphone ring.  My friend would hear from God in the shower."  (She was in no way demeaning this belief, but it struck a nerve as I am so surrounded by people shocked by this very idea.)  I had no idea that I had a label, that what I was doing (what I called "relationship with God") was something to be afraid of. 

     When & why did the church walked away from something as simple as hearing from God?  Who decided that God restricts Himself to speaking from the Bible?  I know the discomfort with charismatics is often blamed on those who've abused others using the "God told me for you" routine; but there are abuses in every approach to religion and non-religion.  I've seen (and experienced) the resistance to listen due to times we believe we've heard something from God that does not prove true; but we can fall into error reading the Bible just as easily.

     This is what I think:  just like in any relationship, we are afraid of the complete vulnerability that our surrender would expose us to.  We've boxed God in, and ourselves beyond the reach of the God who sent Moses with dire predictions to the Egyptians, assigned and directed a whale for Jonah, and made the early church to look like drunks in midday.