|
A bit of wisdom from Mark Twain Penned on Apr. 28, 2008
Goodness, I've outdone myself--a week and one day since I posted! I meant to make a short announcement informing everyone that I would be absent over the weekend, but...I didn't get around to it, and I think it has made itself known anyway. On a side note, my sister is now the NCFCA regional champion in Lincoln-Douglas debate. Run over and congratulate her!
I suppose the real purpose for this post is to share a bit of humor I stumbled across while reading a novel of Mark Twain's: Pudd'nhead Wilson. I had never heard of it until it arrived at our house in a box of used books, and so I immediately set about reading it (drawn, no doubt, by its shortness). The story itself is a bit of a tragedy/mystery--it really deserves a review, which I shall perhaps write. But for now, I wanted to post a bit of the author's epilogue.
In this epilogue, Mark Twain begins by stating that he is in fact not a novelist, and proceeds to detail the troubles he had in writing this particular story. This in itself is an oxymoron, seeing that the epilogue itself had me laughing! He really was a wonderful author.
One of his problems with this story was that it simply had a mind of its own. He writes this:
"I had a sufficiently hard time with the tale, because it changed itself from a farce to a tragedy as I was going along with it--a rather embarrassing circumstance. But what was a great deal worse was, that it was not one story, but two stories tangled together; and they obstructed and interrupted each other at every turn and created no end of confusion and annoyance."
Then comes the laughable part. Finding himself with a character or two whom had no place in the story, Twain wrestled with how to discreetly remove them:
"I didn't know what to do with her. I was as sorry for her as anybody could be, but the campaign was over, the book was finished, she was sidetracked, and there was no possible way of crowding her in, anywhere. I could not leave here there, of course; it would not do. I finally saw plainly that there was really no way but one--I must simply give her the grand bounce. It grieved me to do it...still, it had to done."
(Here I must explain that, at the beginning of each chapter, Twain gives us one or two humorous quotes from Pudd'nhead Wilson's calender)
"So at the top of Chapter XVII, I put a calender remark concerning July the Fourth, and began the chapter with this statistic: 'Rowena went out the backyard after supper to see the fireworks and fell down the well and got drowned.' It seemed a prompt good way of weeding out people that had got stalled, and a plenty good enough way for those others; so I hunted up the two boys [other characters he had no need for] and said: 'They went out back one night to stone the cat and fell down the well and got drowned.' Next I searched and found Aunt Patsy Cooper and Aunt Betsy Hale where they were aground, and said: 'They went out back one night to visit the sick and fell down the well and got drowned.' I was going to drown some others, but I gave up the idea, partly because I believed that if I kept that up it would arouse attention, and partly because it was not a large well and would not hold any more anyway."
So there you have it: advice from one of the most famous authors of all time on how to remove troublesome characters. Is that not brilliant? |
• Comments
(3) • Post A Comment! •
Permanent Link
|
Noteworthy Quotes of 2007 Penned on Jan. 2, 2008
It's the beginning of a new year, and also the beginning of many more marvelous quotes from my friends and family! Anyone else out there keep a quote book? It's a highly educational and...hilarious...experience  . Anyway, I thought I would share my favorite quotes from 2007:
"I don't say a fraction of the things I want to say." ~That would be my dad--a classic, and yeah, it describes him pretty well.
"I'm not weird; you're just not normal." ~Thanks to Christy for that bit of insight!
"Hey--I found Narnia! Oh wait...never mind." ~My little brother Michael, who learned that my closet is not a portal to other worlds, after all.
"Randomness is a virtue!" ~Rebekah--you better hope it is, or we're all a trifle bit less than virtuous!
"Your hair is shocking." ~That was Gabe, letting me know he didn't approve of the hair cut.
"What does it say to do after we do what we did?" ~My sister Toni. This is a classic homeschool quote, eloquently delivered as we struggled through a science experiment.
"I would hate to be this ear of corn." ~Yeah, me too. Kathryn Grace made this very valid point as we husked, chopped, and froze about a million ears of corn. Okay, maybe a hundred.
My dad: "So can you think of anything else that is 'consistent'?"
Michael: "Our couch." ~What can I say? And it was said with such sincerity...
"I only got one ant bite, but a whole herd ran over me!" ~Danielle, apparently, had never met a Texas ant. Yeah, they're different from the cute little black ones in California.
Kathryn Grace: "Do you think two people can live happily ever after?"
Rebekah (8): "Yeah--mom and dad do!" ~It was an "awww" moment...
"Michael and Patti, those are corn dogs, not swords!" ~My mother, attempting to quell the food fight that was shaping up in the back seat.
"I don't remember when the twins were born. I guess my brain didn't register it as a very important event." ~Spoken like a true big brother, Joseph!
"Beth, you're a foot too short." ~This is a commonly known fact by now, but thanks to Alex for pointing it out after I failed to catch the frisbee. Hey, it's not my fault!
"'You reek what you sow...'" ~This was a "Bible time blooper." My dad meant to say "you reap what you sow," of course.
"I hunger." ~Anna, my most quotable friend! She continues to claim she didn't actually say that...
"Paul is a boy." ~Christina pointed this out to us. Thank you, Christina.
"He used to come to our house for, like, five years every day." ~Time sure flies with Abby, I guess.
"I don't really know what to do, but I'm gonna do it anyway!" ~Abby again. Well spoken!
Wow, I got carried away there--I didn't know there were so many good ones! Well, that's all for now, folks...come back for more in 2009!
~Doodles
|
• Comments
(7) • Post A Comment! •
Permanent Link
|
Anecdote of the Week: The Woes of a Permitless Teen Penned on Sep. 7, 2007
So here it is--the rise of a new category! There are simply too many "anecdotes" in my life to pass up the opportunity. And, if anyone would like to post an anecdote of their own, feel free to save the banner for later use.
The Woes of a Permitless Teen:
The permit adventure began exactly one week and four days ago, when I launched into a whole new era of my life: Driver's Ed. You know, the official course that's supposed to teach you how to drive, when in reality every kid ten and up has been doing it for years anyway--in my area, anyway. But, I decided to be a good citizen and dutifully study Driver's Ed. I worked two hours a day for three days, and then declared myself ready to go into town and take the test. Easy, right? Well, here's our second word of the day:
Foil: To prevent from being succesful; to thwart.
Folks, my plan was foiled in the grandest sense of the word. Thursday, instead of proudly taking possession of my learner's permit, I found myself at home hanging out with a friend. Okay, so I'd do it tomorrow. Well...maybe not. Monday, then. Oops, it's Labor Day--government holiday. Tuesday? The office is closed! Wednesday? Forget it--too busy at home getting Toni ready for Debate Camp. Thursday? Closed! Okay, Friday then. Definitely Friday.
We got everyone ready to go--the little kids could hang out with Nana and Papa at the park, and me and my mom would go over to the DPS to take the test. I gathered all my identification, got ready to go myself, and then....
What do you know. The lady at the office is sick today, and--you guessed it--they're closed.
Okay, so I'll try Monday. And the long and vicious cycle shall begin anew....
~Doodles
|
• Comments
(5) • Post A Comment! •
Permanent Link
|
You know you live in a small town if.... Penned on Jun. 5, 2007
Looking over my last several posts, I realized that they have all been on a rather melancholy note. So here is a list I have made up of humorous things that go one when one lives in a town like mine.
You Know You Live in a Small Town If:
1. The entire population (yes, all 5,000) anxiously awaits the two new stoplights going up in town. That brings our total up to four.
2. You go to put your dog in her pen for the night and find a possum happily munching away at the dog food.
3. Your family buys a 5-foot fence to keep the deer out of your garden. Your friends inform you that this is not tall enough.
4. It is hard to go to Wal-Mart without seeing someone you know.
5. The librarian leaves a message on your phone that goes like this: "Hey De Anne, the book you ordered is in..."
And the best:
6. Your postman's fourth cousin is your old pastor, whose brother owns the only mini golf within miles, the course being mowed by a friend from church.
Furthermore, you know the postman.
Well, that's it for now...but believe me, it grows daily! 
~Doodles
|
• Comments
(3) • Post A Comment! •
Permanent Link
|
DEATH TO THE FLEAS! ~otherwise entitled, The Long Hard Road of Flea Extermination Penned on May. 21, 2007
Annie and her cute adorable little puppies (or should I call them fleabags?) are officially outside-dogs. Every last one of them are covered in fleas, as is my bedroom carpet. Oh, great. Has anybody ever tried getting rid of fleas? It is not a happy process. Today we bombed the room, put frontline on Annie and the puppies, and are now waiting for the next batch to pop out of the eggs before we do it over again. Then (hopefully) we will have conquered. Of course, if we miss one or two little fleas.....let's not even consider the possibilities.
  
As for normal life...well, there's not been much of it lately  . We had guests here for eight days last week....my dad and Toni just got back from a conference (giving it) on the coast....the 'dog ordeal'.....schoolwork (yeah, those books on your shelf that are getting a bit dusty now)....But I'll spare you the rest.
This is Beth, also known as Doodles, signing off.
P.S Did I mention that we were also exposed to chicken pox last week? |
• Comments
(1) • Post A Comment! •
Permanent Link
|
|
