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Sunday 25 January 2009
Sample of my new story.

Posted in Posted by Martha Finley

Hello everybody.This is Martha,and it's been awhile since I've posted anthing.It was before Christmas.Anyway,I just wanted to post a sample of the new story I'm writing called "The Girl With The Blue Ribbon".I know it's sort of a bad title.I might come up with a better one,but for now,that is what it is.Now I'll post just a sample,and then the rest later on this week.Here it is:

 The sound of dripping water was all Cassandra Silvers could hear from her little room that was on the second floor of her father's large three story brick home.It was raining outside,and as she looked out the window,all she saw was the little wooden Baptist Church that sat plainly,and yet beautifully across the street from where she now lived.There was not another soul in sight,so she turned away from the window,and unpacked her few clothes and belongings,and began to slowly put them away. 

  As she was putting away her clothes,tears began to slowly form in her dark blue eyes,and roll down her white cheeks.Her heart was filled with what seemed to be an everlasting sadness.Nothing could make her happy now,nothing could bring them back.Trying to regain her composure,she wiped the tears from her eyes,and finished putting her belongings into the proper places for them. 

  When she had put away the last dress,she went,and sat in front of her mirrior.Taking a silver colored hair brush,and a light blue ribbon,she began to fix her hair for dinner.When she had just finished placing the last curl in a place where it would not stick out,a voice called to her from the other side of her bedroom door.....

I pray you all have a great week in the Lord,and God bless you all,

Martha Finley


Comments

Sunday 25 January 2009 - Untitled Comment

Posted by narnialover95

Very good so far Martha, keep up the good work! I don't think that is a bad title, I think it is great!

God Bless,
Snicket

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Sunday 25 January 2009 - Awesome

Posted by Barrie the Disinheirited Knightess

Oh, I really want to continue reading this one! And that is NOT a bad title, it's a very good title. I'm no good at coming up with titles.

~Barrie the Disinheirited Knightess

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Sunday 25 January 2009 - Untitled Comment

Posted by technobabble

How sad...... I wish I felt like writing. =(

This is Technobabble signing off.

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Monday 23 February 2009 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Altariel

Hey, it's not horrible at all! I like it a lot. You mix in the big things with the little details just right, so it really feels real and it paints a great image of the whole feel of the scene. It reveals a bit of her and who she is, but it leaves me wanting more. I really do like it.

The only thing I really picked up that needs work is that your sentences get a bit long, especially at the beginning. Dividing them up a little might help it flow better.

When are you posting more? *grin*

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