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Saturday 2 May 2009
Mummified, Part Three

Posted in Posted by Mary Norton

Hi, Azure here. I really am terribly sorry if this is a little spooky, because Mummified will get darker before it gets brighter. I do apologize, but once I start introducing other characters it'll start to get better.....I hope! Sometimes I can't really tell exactly how much Raynea influences my stuff.

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     The half-amused expression on Asmarelda’s face did not change as she continued to speak. “I have put together a---team, if you will. Adolescents fro mall over America, each with a special talent that makes them stand out. They have a home, a family, with me…and I can see that you currently have none to speak of.” Rachael hung her head, and Asmarelda put one arm around her shoulder. “But come with me, love, and I can give you that and more---something to eat, a place to stay, people who recognize you not just for your talent, but who you really are, deep down inside…” A self-satisfied look spread over the woman’s face. She could see that this little fallacy of hers was working perfectly; before long, this naïve teenage girl would be completely and totally under her control. She bent down to whisper in her ear.

     “Rachael, this is everything you ever wanted,” Asmarelda said softly. “Your life may be in shambles now, but with my help you can rebuild it and rise to become a bright and shining stay. My offer is one you cannot turn down, no matter how hard you think in your mind that you can.” She could see that Rachael was starting to break down. “Listen to your heart, Rachael. What does it tell you?”

     “That…that I….I should go with you,” Rachael found herself saying, if only to get that sickly-sweet voice out of her head. It was something evil, that voice, laced with a poison that was too overpowering to resist. So what if she was selling her soul to the devil? At least she’d have a reason to live…a purpose. Out here on these streets she was good for nothing except for protecting herself against punks and criminals.

     Of course, this was exactly the way that Asmarelda wanted her to think……

     That strange smile touched Asmarelda’s lips again. “Good, good,” she said more to herself than to Rachael. “Come with me, then.” And with a flourish of her black cloak, the woman turned and led Rachael out of the alley to a sleek, blood-red car that was waiting for them on the curb.

     So our story begins…


Comments

Saturday 2 May 2009 - Cool

Posted by Darcy/Barrie

Cool story so far! Is this like an analogy/metaphor-type story?

~Darcy/Barrie

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Sunday 3 May 2009 - ...

Posted by Pip

Ohmyword, this is so well-written! You have such talent for this sort of thing and I think you're handling it masterfully.
One question; how did Rachael know that she was "selling her soul to the devil"? That's a bit extreme; perhaps succumbing to something dark, letting something allure her that was shadowy, or somesuch.
Anyhoo, great job!
God bless,
Kip

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