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Sep. 1, 2008
Writing Workshop: Lesson 7
Before: It rained all week during our camping trip.
After: The tent was halfway up, with Dad in a tangle of poles and canvas, when the rain started. Mom's face took on her usual expression when things don't go her way--eyebrows arched over innocent eyes, mouth closed against any complaint. She opened an umbrella and stood watching Dad's progress. As for the rest of us, we'd never seen such an opportunity! Who would hunker under an umbrella when there were puddles to stomp in, rain to be caught on your tongue, and mud to squish through your toes?
Eventually, Dad did get the tent up. We all trooped inside, wet through and grinning--except for Mom. We knew she was in the depths of motherly misery, so none of us mentioned what we were all thinking:
If only it would go on like this all week!
Before: Katie saw a scary sea creature at the aquarium.
After: Katie watched anxiously, wide-eyed, as a black shape moved swiftly through the tank. She leaned closer to her father. Suddenly a dorsal fin protruded, slicing through the water like a knife. Squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, she clutched her father's arm. He leaned down and began to say something in her ear, but his voice was drowned out by a sudden explosion in the water. Katie's eyes flew open as the majestic killer whale thrust itself into the air and breached onto its side, disappearing into a mountain of foam-tipped waves.
Before: As I entered the cave, I found the object of my search—the lost treasure chest of the Ancients.
After: The stone walls of the cave were slimy to the touch, smoothed by the torrent of the river that was now nothing more than a rivulet of water at my feet. I clicked on my flashlight and directed the beam further down the tunnel. It came to an abrupt halt only a few yards past where I stood, the trickling stream continuing somewhere beyond.
I moved forward slowly, my sneakers slipping on the damp floor. There was something else--a strange irregularity in the ground. I knelt down beside it and probed the area with dirty fingers. It was exactly as the legend said! Bracing myself, I heaved up with all my might, slowly dislodging the stone lid of the hidden compartment. Beneath lay the chest, its brass fittings black with rust.
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Sep. 1, 2008 - Untitled Comment