The modern times

 In breaking news, the swine flew has                                      in South Carolina, a startling

 reached a fever pitch resulting in                                          number of earthquakes   has

now, 81 deaths and counting. Disease,                                   been rocking the continent.                  

Specialist, Mafalda Hopkirk speaking on                                earthquake specialist, Oliver

The behalf of the Mexican government, said                          Wood promises to explain.

the best thing people can do to avoid the disease,                        page A3

is, cont. page A4

Other breaking news-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

None other than our number one editorial writer, Wyatt Fehler, recently hit Stephanie Fehler for a report. When asked the probability of cookies today Stephanie replied, well there’s a good chance of that in the after noon. In the morning, there’s a trip to the Pine Valley lodge and just before that cookie storm, it looks like a talent show is going on. When asked about it, she proudly divulged that two of her youngest sons where entering. Silas and Luther Fehler. Our intrepid reporter then traveled the house, to ask them how they felt about this unexpected development. “I feel scared.” Said Silas Fehler, with out lifting his eyes. “I think people are going to laugh.”;  Luther like wise said, “I feew, nevwous. I fink its just to much to wemembar.”  Our reporter then asked a bystander for her opinion on the contestants. She was indecisive. “I'm not sure how good they’re going to do.” She said, weighing her pencil. “Probably some where between good and bad.”

This has been the modern times, signing off.