Mar. 30, 2008
Sharing some thoughts of my heart.....
Posted in Randomness
I am not one to be prone to having regrets, but I have 3 of them.
1. I regret that I had the mentor I had when I gave my heart to Jesus almost 18 years ago. Why do I regret it? Well, she was very judgemental and if it wasn't written in scripture then God couldn't/wouldn't do it (what ever it was). This judgementalism caused me to further judge. If people weren't like this or that then they were sinners and going to hell or they couldn't be part of our group..."clique" was more like it. Also, people who weren't saved could only be around to the extent and purpose of getting saved and if they got saved then they were lovable and could hang around. If they didn't get saved then they were rejected. She capitalized on spiritual warfare, which was fine except, she capitalized more on how mean and evil Satan was and how he was around every corner instead of how big and capable God was. So, I grew up in Christ being afraid of the devil and blaming every bad thing that happened on him (instead of taking responsibility for some of the choices I was making). There was so much emphasis put on doing more and being better that I always felt like I was failing instead of learning to just be. I always I wasn't enough and would never be enough. There was all this emphasis on being like the Proverbs 31 woman. I mean, who can be like her? Not only that, when does she have time for friendships? Intimacy with her husband? Time to play with her kids? Do something fun?
2. I also regret how I have raised my kids. I am sure there are other women who feel this way. I wished I could go back in time, knowing what I know now, and re-raise them. Maybe they wouldn't argue so much because I wouldn't have raised heck with them all the time about EVERYTHING. Maybe they would love each other more or deeper or something. I just wished I could do that over.
3. My last regret is that I sent them to public school. I'm not going to go into this in any detail because I believe it's already understood at least by homeschoolers.
Tirzah
Comments
Mar. 30, 2008 - <em>Untitled Comment</em>
Posted by shawtime
I can relate to all three of your regrets. Instead of calling them "regrets", I prefer to call them "lessons learned". :-) It's true. When we ask the Lord for wisdom, he gives it to us. -Karen
P.S. I don't think there is a "right" way to raise our kids. Only God is able to do it "right".
Edited by shawtime on Mar. 30, 2008 at 11:34 PM
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Mar. 31, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by trustingdaily
Just think of all the wealth of wisdom you now have having been through those times....God is good all the time.
Happy Monday
Angela
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Mar. 31, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by MayTheyBeMightyMen
I tend to agree about "lessons learned" in these cases. I'll gently challenge you a wee bit, if I may, to flip these things around for a second and find God in them. It may be a surprising blessing. *shrug* Maybe?
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Mar. 31, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by jsgay97
I can relate to those too. Although, I don't regret who my mentor was, I regret not having one. But the wonderful thing about God (well, one of them) is that He can fix what we break and turn it all to His glory, whether we ever see it or not. You've come a VERY long way, and I'm sure He's very proud of you! Don't regret. Rejoice! (I know, easier said than done, but please try.)
Oh, and as far as the Proverbs 31 woman goes, my hubby pointed out something very important. Her children are grown. It doesn't say specifically, but there are details that point very clearly to the fact that she does not have young children in the house. Somehow that makes me feel a little better.
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Mar. 31, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by kimalita
(((((( Tizrah )))))))
And Jesus takes care of them all.........
Isn't it good to know that even though we can't 'go back,' we have Jesus to help make the crooked paths straight? Gods grace is bigger........
Today is a good, 'start over' day.
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Apr. 2, 2008 - Heartfelt
Posted by Anonymous
I know this came from deep down within, and it's the kind of post that you don't see often, but I'm sure we've all been there. I thought about #2 specifically. I don't think as much about regrets now, but I often wonder what the children will become that's not so great, and what part of that will be a result of something I unintentionally projected. The critical nature, the insecurities, and all the other pieces of the puzzle are there for the generational passdown, you know? At any rate, I offer you the peace and reassurance that God can use whatever they are; that very argumentative nature might be used to challenge and break a legalistic or religious spirit in a church bound for Hell.
Finally, if it's any consolation on the public schooling, I regret sending our oldest to private school for her first four years--she's grown acclimated to finishing quickly and simple lessons. Instilling an ethic of persistence and hard work has been, well, hard work.
So, we all do the best we can and trust God for the rest. He knows far more than you about the rug He's weaving in each of your lives, and trust me--His pattern is beautiful. God bless you, Tirzah.
Belinda @ With a Taste of Chocolate
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Apr. 2, 2008 - Hi Tirzah!
Posted by creativehsmom
If everyone is honest, I know there's not a one of us who doesn't have regrets. I know what you mean about blaming every mistake on the devil. We do have an adversary who crouches to devour us, but most of the time he just sits and waits and attacks us when we are most vulnerable. We are far better focusing on our Awesome Savior and the Power of His Might. Thank you for asking how I'm doing. That blesses me so. I've been taking care of my Mom alot lately. I've been trying to update when I can.
In His Love,
Cathy
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Apr. 2, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by moffittzoo
Well, where to start with this one?? First it's great to read something so honest. Second, I wish I could've handled things differently with my kids all the time. Like when I'm grouchy and tired or too worried about things being neat. I just pray for Gods grace to cover it all and for Him to teach me more. Thanks for sharing.
Amy
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Apr. 3, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by imasharp
Hey girlfriend, You were on my mind and I thought I would say hello. I hope things are looking brighter on your side of the fence. I think I am coming out of the little funk that I was in. This world tries to make it hard on us to live. Just know that I am saying a prayer for you now.
HUGS,
Christy
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Apr. 4, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by OldSchoolMarm
Tirzah, I've thought about your blog for the last two days and even nearly blogged on the same subject but just tooo painful to be quite honest. Please be comforted in knowing it's in the past and look forward to God doing a new thing in your life. You are evidently a very sensitive person (self reflective not whinny) and I know our Lord will use this time to heal past hurts and give you the foresight and strength to look ahead. You are precious and I so appreciate your frankness and honesty. Psalm 103:1-6 Blessings to you and your family, Julie
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Apr. 7, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by hotmommy
Boy can I relate! Funny I just read this today. How timely. Connor was cutting everyone's age in half this morning and so I was 18 1/2. I said something about oh to do it over. He asked what about and I mentioned a few things I would do differently, such as how I raised them. I am such a different parent with our 2 1/2 yr old Shaoey. Things don't rattle me quite like they use to. I use to be kind of quick tempered, I have mellowed. For example, the whole eating thing. My 2 boys got away with not eating what we were eating and now do we have problems. If Shaoey doesn't eat it, oh well, she'll do until the next meal. I'm not fixing her anything different! LOL
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