I am a member of Sonlight forums, have been since 2004, and it is a wonderful blessing. Most of the time. But this weekend was the "Big Fat Meetup" in California, and I wasn't able to go. And I missed the one last year, too. Dh's work schedule just doesn't match up with this sort of thing.

I remember these feelings from last year. An outsider looking in the window, watching the festivities, but unable to walk in and join them. It is really hard - I am an active member of the forums, have several friends there who I have met IRL, and right now is a flurry of posts about it. While I truly am happy for them that they were able to attend, I feel pretty empty about it, and am having a hard time sorting through all of these feelings.

-I realized this morning, and admitted out loud to the Lord, that I feel entitled to going. I also feel like every time there is one of these, and I don't attend, that I am distancing myself more and more from the general crowd. I am not in on their jokes, stories, giggles, memories. And that hurts. And now the talk is of the one next year, but already I am seeing that there is very little chance of my going then, too.

-So how do I deal with these thoughts/feelings? Stuff them down inside, just quietly creep away until the hubbub is over, and then go on w/the day to day stuff? Those people are my friends - I have few IRL friends, and the one I usually have "phone therapy" with is a BFM attendee, so she really isn't the one to hear me on this. I have several other difficult emotional things swirling around in my mind right now, that is feels weighty to think about this, too.

These scriptures come to mind:

Why so downcast, o my soul? Put your hope in God!

May the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, o Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer

Cast your cares on the Lord, for He cares for you

You will keep in perfect peace, him whose mind is steadfast on You.

please excuse the lack of verse references. I was just taking a walk and thinking about all of this. The thoughts are there, so instead of just glossing over them and reciting verses, I talked to God about it all. About how I know it is not a good thing to have self-pity, how I am sad over it all, how it hurts, but at the same time I need to remember the Lord is good, His mercy endures forever, and that He is enough for me, no matter the circumstances. And HE IS. I belong to Him; Jesus is reason enough to get out of bed in the morning. And He cares for me, for my hurts, but also wants me to keep my eye on HIM.

wow, I have NO time to blog anymore...I have no time to do anything anymore...And we don't even do outside activities except for church. What has happened? We moved to NC, so lots of stress packing, moving, unpacking. Add in lots of birthdays, 3 girls who are now homeschooled, being a mom and wife and homemaker and child wrangler,  a trip to Disney, life, life, and more life - and it is now almost a full year. I wish I had more time!!!

Now, I am attacking the zebra wallpaper in our master bathroom, trying to move away from African Safari to a more calm theme ;) So another project, to take up my time.

But I have to add, thanks be to God, that  I love my life, I love what the Lord is doing, and I love who I am!

It has been 6 months since I was here! Wow, how life has kept me busy. I have finished renovations on our house in WV, we sold our house (all praise to the Lord for how quickly that happened!), had an offer accepted on a house in NC, and at the end of July, will be finishing up our year here in FL and moving north again. My girls are growing up so fast - my youngest will be 5 in August!

But enough about all of that. I have had lots of times to think about the title of my blog ;) And I still have SO much to learn about choosing JOY in the midst of everything in my life and the lives of others. I found a web page about joy, and it included this quote: "Without Christ in me, I could never choose joy".  That is so true.

I might have shared this before, but a website that has been such a help is "In Christ I am..." And I like (and need!) to meditate on one truth each day - it helps me to keep focused on the Lord, on who He says I am, not listening to myself or the world tell me who I need to be! Today's - In Christ, I am God's child - and if I think about my own dc, and how I feel about them, about how I love to see them, love to watch them enjoy life (we saw fireworks for their very first times last night!), how I love to comfort them when sick or afraid or sad, how they can lean back against me or my dh and feel safe - all of that is SO MUCH MORE when referring to God as my Father, and me as His child.

We are doing Adventures in My Father's World this year, and we are really enjoying it. For the past 2 weeks, we have studied pioneers from Holland, France, Native Americans, bread, and our biblical theme is Jesus is the Bread of Life. So we made butter, and yesterday we made our own bread. I have made bread lots of times, but it is always in our bread machine. But we are renting a home here in FL, and I did not bring all of our belongings - including the bread maker. So this time, I made two batches of bread - I made one loaf, and divided the other loaf into thirds for the girls to knead, shape and bake. And the joy in their little hearts and on their faces to have their own loaf! We carved their names in the loaves before they baked.

As we ate our bread with homemade butter, I read Bread and Jam for Frances. And now, they are referring to the grape jelly as "jam", and they are having a slice at every meal.

I had the most amazing conversation tonight with her. She will be 7 in November. And this yr, these past 4 months or so, have been very hard for me w/her. She has been defiant, angry, very difficult at times. And yet, there are other times of sweetness and joy and cuddling. I have been praying a lot lately, asking God for wisdom, reminding myself that He has her in His hands, asking Him to move in her little heart.

Tonight, she was reading her bible before bed - usually she reads, and then reads to me and we talk a bit. She came racing in to me and told me God had led her to psalm 100 and 118. So I went in to her room, she read both to me, and then I asked her what spoke to her in those, what she liked, etc. And it took a while for her to put it in to words, but she basically said that it encourages her when she disobeys, it helps her to not be angry at herself. And then she said that the passages about singing for joy, gladness, praising all made her feel "like the moments after I tell you I did something wrong - like my heart is bursting with joy."

Isn't that a lovely idea/description? We are so burdened w/our sin, and then we confess, and there is a lightness, a joy, a fullness in Christ.

And then, after a lot of talking, she told me she still felt like God was calling her to be a missionary nurse. We pray for a missionary in Asia tha tis imprisoned; we have talked about why. And she said, "Mom, God is calling me to do that. And if I get put in to prision for talking about Jesus, then I will be strong and courageous"

well, I have never thought, as a mother, about the true implications of a missionary daughter. It was exciting, scary, wonderful, horrible all at the same time. I did not grow up in a Christian home , so a lot of this is foreign to me. But if that is what the Lord is calling her to do, then blessings and prayers and love and joy will accompany her!

This is a hard road, raising children, needing constant wisdom and strength and His grace. But it is a wonderful place to be!

Thanks for listening :)

The Lord has shown me something very basic but very amazing in my walk with Him, and I wanted to share it with whoever reads this. The past yr has been a tough one - renovations, moving, etc. I will not bore you w/all the details. And the move has gone well. But I am seeing some very strong character issues in all my girls - ones that are discouraging to me as a parent, as a christian. Ones that wear me out to the utmost, where I just want to check out...And today was very bad, I just got to the point of tears, utter discouragement. Do you know that place??? I called dh and asked him to pray; he spoke w/the oldest. But I needed Jesus. So I placed all the girls in separate places, put on praise music and swept and mopped the floor. And in that time, the Lord renewed my strength, lifted me up out of the pit, but did much more than that. Not only did he renew my strength for the very minute, to keep going, encouraging me in my day. But He showed me how to choose joy in the midst of trials, to go on only because of HIM. Here are the songs I heard:

Trading My Sorrows

I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

Chorus:
And we say yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord Amen

I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning

Hallelujah (Your Love is Amazing)

Your love is amazing, steady and unchanging
Your love is a mountain, firm beneath my feet
Your love is a mystery, how You gently lift me
When I am surrounded, Your love carries me

Chorus
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Your love makes me sing
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Your love makes me sing

v2
Your love is surprising, I can feel it rising
All the joy that's growing deep inside of me
Every time I see You, all Your goodness shines through
And I can feel this God song, rising up in me

Bridge
Yes, You make me sing
Lord, You make me sing, sing, sing
How You make me sing

2000 Vineyard Songs (UK / Eire)
Words and Music by Brenton Brown and Brian Doerksen

I am including the words because they are instrumental in helping me deal w/the frustration, fatigue, almost despair that I felt. That may sound a bit over dramatic, but I was worn down, and the Lord lifted me up. These words struck me:

I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning

 

This was very, very real and concrete to me - so many times I look at the circumstances around me, and choose to be discouraged. But today, He helped me to overcome my feelings, and lean totally on Him. And we all need this - because all of us will go thru despair, discouragement, frustrations, places where we want to escape, where we feel like we just cannot go on with what is going on in our lives. Just today on the hs forum I belong to, and fellow forum member shared that she lost her baby. And all around us is death, sorrow, despair, feeling like we cannot continue. And Jesus carries us in all of these things, so that we can walk with Him, living the abundant life He came to give us.

I have been very scarce here - scarce everywhere but in my home, packing and cleaning and painting! We are almost ready to move to Florida - amazing, really. I guess it is amazing because I have been renovating our home non-stop, and now the time is upon us to go. But I am excited, and hopefully after we get settled, I will have more of a normal life - sahm, homeschooler, taking care of a house that is finished, new-ish, and no repairs. Tons of free time, I am sure...

I have not blogged in almost a month. There is no time in my day to do all I would like - I am currently trying to finish all of our house renovations, get my husband ready to go to Florida, plus plan our homeschool year, plus get us packed. And all of the stress and upheaval in the past several months is definitely affecting my girls - lots of behavioral stuff, etc.

But all is not bad. Praise the Lord, He who began a good work in us is faithful to complete it! And He is able to do immeasurably MORE than anything I can ask or imagine. And my little brain is not that capable - so to think that the best plan I can come up, He probably has something better. The mountain in front of me seems way too huge to overcome - we have SO much to do in the next weeks, but like a friend encouraged me, "You can only eat an elephant a bite at a time." And so with the Lord's strength, I am attacking all I have to do in little bites!

I have noticed a pattern in my thoughts:

• This is just too hard
• When in the world will this all end?
• I am going to lose it!
• I am so tired - if I can just get to Florida...

And this morning, I was studying Joseph in my Patriarchs study by Beth Moore. And in the lesson on his temptation by Potiphar's wife, although totally unrelated, she made the comment that we should prepare in advance our reasons not to give in to temptation. And that led to me thinking about my thoughts - I am not deliberately keeping my eyes on Jesus; I am not stopping those thoughts - I am giving in to them, to despair, to discouragement. NO! So I listed all of them, and then I listed Bible verses that refuted those thoughts. Want to see my list?

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

John 6:35 Jesus said, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me will never go hungry, and he who comes to Me will never be thirsty."

Ephesians 3: 20, 21 Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory...

Philippians 2:14 Do everything without complaining or arguing...

Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always.

As dh would say, "Them's fighting words!" And it has to be a fight, to stand firm - it has to be a deliberate thing, to practice controlling my thoughts, to purposefully set my mind on Jesus. I have been wallowing in a defeatist thought-life, and it has manifested itself in my physical self - stress, upset stomach, and in my relationships - snapping at the girls, worrying, resentment. You get the idea. But we serve an Almighty God - and He is so able to help us through anything that is in our faces, so I don't have to just limp and crawl to the end of this stressful time, I can get thru it standing firm, victorious over my worry, doubt, fear.

So now, I have to practice all of this - to rest securely in Him, not giving in to those worrisome thoughts. And this blog will be a reminder, and I plan on keeping those scriptures handy, to strengthen me anytime I feel weak!

Well, we are headed to Orlando sometime after August 1st, for at least until next July! I am excited - dreading the move, adjustments, etc. But a fellow homeschooler that lives down there has already offered to help me adjust/find a hs co-op, etc. so that is wonderful! Actually, I have 3 pretend friends who have offered their help!

And we are off to Mountain Lake resort in southwest VA tomorrow morning - yippee!!!

If you happen to stop by, I would love your prayers for dh's meeting w/his boss. He is requesting a yr long leave from teaching to be a guest teacher in Orlando; please pray this honors the Lord, wisdom for us as make our plans -

thank you so much!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

That verse has always been a comfort and strength to me, a wonderful promise on which to rest. And lately, it has been on my mind non-stop! We have been praying about and contemplating a move since the start of this year, sure of one thing, then something comes along to change our course. And now, we are still not sure where we will be living in August! Dd 6yo knows about the possibilities, and I asked her what she was thinking about it all. "Well, I am excited about moving, but I am a little bit confused - where are we going to go?"

LOL, I am confused a bit too. But I reminded her of that verse (we know it by way of 2 different singing CD's) and told her that although we are not sure, God knows. And that He will show us in His time, and that we can rest on that promise. It is frustrating - we feel pretty certain that the Lord is directing us to take a yr long leave so dh can teach at another university, but we have yet to hear from his superiors to see if it is approved. I am at times battling hard feelings toward those men, and I have to remind myself that the Lord has a plan for us, a future and a hope. (jer. 26:11)  So I am just waiting on Him for our plans, doing all that needs to be done to prepare for a move, and giving those fearful, worrying thoughts to Him whenever they pop into my brain!

One more thing that occurred to me just now - a lot has happened w/my relationship w/my 6yo dd, and this sharing of knowledge about the potential move has been really neat. I can ask her to pray, and have sort of used her as my encouragement - when she is confused, I can remind her of God's truths, which cement them in my heart a bit more every time!

We were in the kitchen, getting breakfast, and dd 5yo started singing her own praise song to the Lord with the words "Alleluia, Christ has risen" - such a sweet sound, and I am sure to the Lord much more than me! So I looked in Psalms to reinforce the idea of singing praises:

Psalm 100

 1 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.

 2 Worship the LORD with gladness;
       come before him with joyful songs.

 3 Know that the LORD is God.
       It is he who made us, and we are his ^[a] ;
       we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

 4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
       and his courts with praise;
       give thanks to him and praise his name.

 5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
       his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Not in our lives, but in the lives of those around us:

-via the Sonlight forums, our family has been praying for a young lady named Lindsey, who had cancer in her lungs/other places - and had a slim chance of beating it, if I remember correctly. After a LONG time of surgery/chemo/radiation, her latest tests show she is CANCER FREE

-there is a family in our church that has been going thru some big trials: the father had colon cancer, recently found to have spread to his liver, w/ a dismal prognosis. He had surgery 2 weeks ago to remove the lobe of his liver that contained the cancer, and it was tons smaller, better contained than what they anticipated - and the area around it was clear of cancer. Their oldest daughter is suffering from severe headaches, the docs are not sure of the cause, but the fatal prognosis they gave her initially has now been changed to a much better one.

And then another Sonlight family lost their profoundly handicapped (and I know that is not a politically correct word these days - sorry) daughter yesterday, one of triplets, and her post about it was the most beautiful thing I have read in a long time - to see the Lord's provision, grace, blessing on what is a terrible thing, and the evidence of His presence in their lives.

The reason I am blogging this is because of a scripture passage I read this morning:

Deuteronomy 11:7-9 But it was your own eyes that saw all these great things the LORD has done.

    Observe therefore all the commands I am giving you today, so that you may have the strength to go in and take over the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, and so that you may live long in the land that the LORD swore to your forefathers to give to them and their descendants, a land flowing with milk and honey.

Before that passage, it is talking about how the hearers' children did not see the Lord's great deeds with their own eyes. I have seen His great deeds, and I need to therefore observe His commands, teach them well to my children, so that we may live long in the land He has given us.

well, I survived all the hustle and bustle of yesterday. It was a bit stressful trying to get out the door to church, w/extra family here, a big cake, a 3yo having a fit about her socks...

I was moved to tears watching dd get baptized - her face was so full of wonder, excitement, joy - she has always been a "spiritual" child - actually, her first word was "amen"! She has that joy of learning that you hear about, and it applies to learning about the Lord, too. So it was with a full heart that we went to the altar, and then stood with her to be baptized. She also received her first communion, and I was overwhelmed at the idea of what the Lord is/will be doing in her.

On to Mother's Day: I have now been a mommy since Nov. 1999, and I have had a myriad of emotions about it. My girls were all born in less than 3 yrs, surrounded by lots of life-changing events: dfil died right after dd#1 was born, then dh had major surgery 6 mos. later. Then dh got a travelling job that took him out of the country, right when dd #2 was born. I absolutely floundered in life when that happened - handling a toddler and an infant alone, when the infant was a screamer for months on end! And then when pregnant w/dd #3, we decided to move - and it happened 6 wks before she was born. Add to that a miserable first yr of her life trying to adjust to a new town, 3 kids, etc.

That was a lot to say, I have struggled w/contentment as a mommy - when things got hard, I would moan and groan against my circumstances, against where the Lord has put me. I barely kept my head above water for a long time! But the Lord has brought me to a better place - in my heart, seeing His amazing blessings. More and more I am able to just enjoy my dc, watching them, interacting with them, just being grateful for the life God has given me. Several times in the gospels, Mary is mentioned as treasuring things in her heart - and I feel like that - something the girls do or say, and I feel like it is a little treasure for me to tuck away in my heart, to pull out and wonder at. I am thankful for the dc the Lord has given me, overwhelmed at the responsibility, but awed at watching Him move in their hearts.

And then there is my birthday. We are not big birthday people here - they are always low-key. But as the girls are getting older, they want to really celebrate birthdays - when I went up to get them up yesterday morning they came running, showering me w/kisses and hugs. Even dd 3yo, who is not "kissy" gave me a few. Last night as we were praying together, dd 6yo looked at me (tenderly, I thought) and said, "Mom, you look older." Gee, thanks! But then she added, "You don't look any bigger, just older" Dd 3yo really latched on to the birthday thing - Mother's Day is a bit ambiguous to a little one - she ran around yelling happy birthday all day. And last night, she hugged me and said it again, then turned to dh and said, "And happy Mother's Day, Daddy!"

I have a thankful heart right now - for where the Lord has brought me, for all He has given me, for the journey we are on.

Today is a very special day in our home: Mother's Day, my birthday, and my dd 6yo is getting baptized! I did not grow up in a Christian home, was baptized as an adult, and so this is just amazing to me. Such a sign of God's faithfulness to draw us to Himself!

A friend sent me a birthday card yesterday, with the following verses in it, and then My Utmost for His Highest was based on one of those verses this morning. So I think the Lord is directing me to that chapter, wouldn't you say?

2 Corinthians 4:6-18

For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.  So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken." With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

And no, it is not to avoid doing the dishes. Totally unrelated to homeschooling, but I eat when bored, when anything, basically, and I am trying to not do that - so here I am. So, I will fill my spirit with good life-giving food!

Jesus said, "I came that they might have life, and have it abundantly" John 10:10

John 6:35 Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty."

John 6:53-58 Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. 54Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. 55For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. 56Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in him. 57Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me. 58This is the bread that came down from heaven. Your forefathers ate manna and died, but he who feeds on this bread will live forever."

Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Galatians 5:16  So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

Gal. 5:22-24 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.

ok, the moment has passed, I am filled with Jesus, and I pray someone reading this is encouraged or strengthened by God's marvelous, amazing word and love!!

We were getting ready to go out for lunch, and dd 5yo said, "Mommy, can I bring Germy Fisherman?" Huh?

So she brought me the book - Jeremy Fisher - too funny!!!

well, it went well, in that the test got done! But it was so sad to hear her cries, to hold her down - she kept saying, "Mommy, I'm so scared!"  But God was gracious, kept me strong, and so we got thru it.

It turns out she has what is called Grade 2 reflux to her right kidney. While I am disheartened a bit that she has any reflux, it is much better than it could be - more severe cases require surgery, and she will need daily antibiotics for at least a year, then repeat the test yearly until she hopefully outgrows it.

So thank you for your prayers. I felt like a wrung-out washrag by the end, but the Lord saw us thru it.

I am up, watching the sun rise, thinking about dd having this procedure done today. And I am feeling a little anxious. Not only do I not want her to have to go thru such things, but she is a FIGHTER, and I mean struggles mightily against anything she does not want to do. When she had to have blood taken, she started screaming as the nice lab tech lady came into the room, with empty hands. So I can imagine how it will be as they approach her just to talk to her and have her lay on the table.

I will be looking at pictures online this morning, preparing her as best I can. What I really need is for the Prince of Peace to flood both of us with His peace that passes understanding! I will do the best I can to get her ready and support her thru it, and rest in Him to help us.

My life has been a complete whirlwind since the beginning of winter. We moved into a fixer-upper, unbeknownst to us, finding all sorts of hidden problems that required all sorts of yet-to-be-learned techniques. And my dc were very little when we bought it, so I had almost no time to work on it. And now, here we are, needing to sell our house, and I am working almost non-stop to do my part. Plus the normal household things, which are sort-of getting done, plus anticipating moving ourselves, and the list goes on and on. There are times when it seems to wash over my head, and the panic or dismay starts to rise, and I have to run to the Lord's arms and rest in Him, finding my peace and joy in Him, in the midst of way too much to handle on my own. When I get overwhelmed, I stop and remind myself that He is with me, holding me in His arms, that He is able to do abundantly more than I can ask or imagine, that He is doing a good work in me that He is faithful to complete, and that one day this house will be finished and sold.

It is just hard to have to look at the LONG list of things to do to get it ready to sell, finding more and more little things, but I do have to say - the hardest things on my list are done!

Ok, if you have read this far, I am impressed. All of those words helped, just getting them out on "paper". This has by far been the busiest, most hectic, most demanding of patience, physical strength and endurance, time in my life, and I know the Lord is teaching me to persevere. Because the testing of my faith produces perseverance, that I may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.

I just read a booklet about stress from "Our Daily Bread" - and one verse jumped out at me : When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul (Ps. 94:19) Hallelujah! I must rest in Him, and find His peace and consolation, and let them bring joy to my soul.

Hi all, I have not been around much - we had floors refinished in three rooms, so I took advantage of the empty rooms - patching walls, sanding, and painting all three! Whew - I am worn out. :)

Anyway, I would really appreciate your prayers for my dd 3.5yo tomorrow - she is having her VCUG at 11:00 am EST, and I am anticipating much screaming and agony on her part. She is just now getting back to her normal self after being sick for a while, and she is easily scared, especially of strangers, of pain, etc - so please pray that she does well, that she cooperates, and that it is negative for reflux. Also for wisdom for me in preparing her.

Thank you so much!